Its Been A While
Topic: I'm Back
It's been awhile since I've been here.

As if anyone has missed me. As if anyone but me reads me. *L*

I will try to write more. I should write more. Its good therapy after all.

I'll be back.

Senior Humor
[recieved in my email]

"Senior" personal ads

Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida newspapers:
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

Oreo Personality Test

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing.
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with,exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time.
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical.
You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. Feverous Nibbles.
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5. Dunked.
Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie.
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie.
You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean,and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies.
You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things,and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.

My Drug Problem
MY DRUG PROBLEM



My generation just might have been lucky.

I had a drug problem when I was young, but I turned out all right.

I was drug to church for wedding and funerals and church services.

I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather or what I had planned.

I was drug to the bus stop to go to school every weekday.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers.

I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.

Those drugs are still in my veins: and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say and think.

They are stronger than crack, cocaine or heroin, and
if today's children had this kind of drug problem,
America might be a better place.


[from my email files/author unknown]

04-27-2004
Writing to myself again.

Note to self: get your ass/body to the gym.

I feel like going to sleep. Maybe I always feel like going to sleep. Then I go bed and have a hard time falling asleep when the reason I went to bed is because I was sleepy. Duh?

04/25/2004
Home alone till Wednesday. I should be doing things like clean the house. Clean the frig. Clean my room. But no, I surf or sew. What is that about? Lazy! Attention deficit disorder.

Its almost May. Time has just flown by. Next thing you know it'll be Christmas. The 1st week of January went sooooo slow. Then February flew by then March and its the end of April now. OMG. Time flys when you're having fun. Or you don't know that you're having fun. Go figure.

I'm thinking ~ why do I write in here. Why would anyone want to read it. How boring am I? Who cares. LOL Just write on. *L*

04/21/2004
I found my way back here. Amazing.... I once was lost but now I found.... whatever.

Got my teeth seriously cleaned today. I I hate the ugly sound of metal scraping teeth. To have to listen to that is painful. Serious headache from all that tugging & pulling, scraping & digging. eeewwlll! Necessary evil I think. It needs to get done right? I have to go back in 3months. Suppose to be good for me. I'll keep my teeth longer or so they say. I suppose. Just gotta do wotyagotta do.

I think I fall asleep while the dental hygenist is doing her "construction" or is it distruction work. I can hear everything. I can feel everything. But my body goes totally relaxed. Perhaps its an outta body experience. No, an outta mind experience. I must fall into alpha sleep or something or other. Go figure.

1st Time/1st Entry


How did I get here? Why did I do this. I'm clueless and playing with this Blog thingee. Just learning as I go here.

Oh I get it? Its like an online journal. Duh? I came here on the short bus. Will probably leave here via the short bus but oh well it beats having to hitchhike.

This is a test. A test to see how da hell did I do this. Why is besides the point. Why just is. Why ask why? Its done all ready.

This is gonna sound/read so dumb!