3rd Grade
Mood:  happy
[From my email files]

3rd Grade

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The
teacher asked, "Little Johnny, what is your problem?"

Little Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in
the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal's office.
While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he
would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions
he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Little Johnny: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Little Johnny: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think
Little Johnny can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The
principal and Little Johnny both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Little Johnny: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The
principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)

Little Johnny: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Little Johnny: "Pants"

Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open
really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Little Johnny: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Little Johnny: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog
do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer...)

Little Johnny: "Shake hands"

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Little Johnny: "Yup"

Teacher: "You blow me, you feel good"

Little Johnny: "Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Little Johnny: "Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of
exitement?"

Little Johnny: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his butt
in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."